Ringing in the Yuletide

How’s it going y’all? It’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything here. Just been going through…..some stuff around the holidays this year. Not really felt in a very sharing mood if y’all vibe with that. I’ve been doing some more writing recently; journaling as well. Been going through a crisis of/faith journey recently and I’m still trying to figure that out. I’ve been re-evaluating a few things here and there, turns out I care too much.

As it stands I’m alone for the holidays; no family dinners, no real cheer. It struck me that perhaps around the holidays the reason I crave companionship is due to the fact that my own family has…..issues with functioning as a healthy family. Hearing about or seeing memes about it being “cuffing season” Basically where you couple up with someone around the holidays and once the holidays are over y’all go your separate ways.

Pretty messed up when you think about it… For me personally, I’ve never really felt like that’s a way to do things. Been halfway joking with a good friend of mine recently that they need to “hook a brotha up”. In all honesty though I’m not joking about that. I crave the presence of someone special in my life to, well share life with. Kinda what a relationship is y’know? I understand that there’s the whole “I’m working on myself thing” however… That never stops either. From the moment we’re born we’re working on ourselves.

I’ve been craving someone to be a partner of my heart. To grow with together… to share the holidays, Hallowthankmas Season with, to share my birthday with… I just, wish for people to be daring with their hearts. Sitting here awake at a quarter til’ 4 am and I just have more questions. These are desires of my heart and soul… reflected in my writing for sure. I’m just tired y’all, after this year…Bunch of Karen’s freaking out about toilet paper, everyone wearing or not wearing a mask…

I don’t know if anyone has the same vibe or not. I’ll say though this year has tested me in a variety of unpleasant ways. As it sits, I’m ready and waiting for someone to enter my life that I can partner with, share life with. Good and bad…We’re not meant to do life alone.

Happy Holidays Friends, may all your Holidays be merry and bright.

Rapha Yada My Friends,

Richard.