Hey y’all, I’ve been busy packing things up. Trying to get things set up to move out of my current living situation. Checking over paperwork and lease copy. Double and triple checking things repetitively….
Good grief….I feel like a line from an NF song applies here. “Diagnosed with OCD, what does that mean? Well gather round, that means I obsessively obsess on things I think about.”
Not gonna lie with roommates just continuing to leave messes scattered about as I’m trying to clean and get ready to move is just emotionally and psychologically draining in the extreme. “hey dude can we use some of these boxes?” No, no you most certainly cannot. Why? well you’re just gonna throw useless garbage in there and it keeps me from packing up and getting away from you two fools.
I’ve heard over the years that I’m an incredibly impatient person. I highly disagree, after all if I wasn’t a patient person I’d have simply already left. Lease agreement be danged. Instead I’m sitting here doing the “right” thing. Funny term that….Right most times is a matter of perception. All I know is I signed on the dotted line and I’m responsible for following through with the agreement.
Let’s let that sink in…..I could choose what’s easier. However I’m not going to; a friend of mine gave me some incredibly solid advice several years ago. “If it’s easy then odds are it’s not the right thing to do.” Have to say I agree. Right now? I’m just inching ever closer to moving back home. Country music in my ears to drown out the sound of excuses for poor behavior…
Rain was pouring down the other night here in Idaho and all I could think was that Indiana and the Midwest in general does things in a much more spectacular fashion. Summer storms, sunsets and sunrises, the feel of family with people who aren’t blood. There’s just a sense of realness back home.
Literally right now, my brother is the ONLY person in the state of Idaho who from my perception I can honestly say loves me and cares about me without having to read a whole service and terms agreement. Basically his caring and love isn’t conditional. I referred to 1 Corinthians 13: 1-13 in my last blog post. There I’d referenced love is patient, however there’s something else in there. Love holds no record of past wrongs. Love ISN’T CONDITIONAL.
It’s a choice, just like a choice to move away from abusive roommates. Choices tend to help us define our character, our choices have gravity….Weight to them I suppose. As it is when I came out to Idaho thirteen years ago it wasn’t my choice. I left behind friends, crushes, a lot of things I wanted to experience there….
In Idaho I learned about myself and defining MY relationship with God and faith was MY responsibility. I learned about heartache and experienced heartbreak here. Did a lil’ more drinking than I probably should have to deal with those things. Heck, I’m experiencing heartache right now on top of all this stress. There’s someone back home who has managed to catch my heart and I worry about her.
Idaho has taught me many hard lessons…I may not have a college degree yet. However I don’t think that one necessarily NEEDS a college degree to acquire wisdom or become a better man. It certainly CAN help your situation in life but it’s not mandatory.
Y’all I’ve learned a lot here but my soul longs for midwest storms and watercolor sunrises and sunsets. Have to say, I’ll be moving back home in summer. So at least I won’t have to worry about missing those summer storms, sunrises and sunsets for much longer. Like Ozzy once sung…..
Rapha Yada my friends,
Richard
Holy Water, Burning Man 