How’s it going y’all? So today while I was in the shower I had a thought. Mirrors. Now roll with me on this y’all. See mirrors are obviously reflective, there’s myths around the world about mirrors and magical properties. Personally I think I’m opposed to mirrors because they show things as they are.
I’m a self-conscious guy about myself. You hear about how women deal with all this objectification. Guess what y’all? Men get that too. I’m 29 and every time I go to take a shower or look down at my stomach I see weight I can’t get rid of. Being diabetic has the nice perk of body fat in certain places being incredibly hard to get rid of. I shouldn’t feel this way about myself there’s no logical reason other than my own mind picking apart the things others see or my mind THINKS they see.
I know that from my experiences in life and speaking with some female friends that the way you’re perceived as a man frequently depends on how much money you’re making or if you’re Mr. Tall, dark, and handsome. How big your….ahem package is.
As is, that’s repulsive enough. I say this because ever since I was a little kid I heard this song called The Measure of A Man by a group called 4Him. It’s taken me years and I’m still struggling with the fulfillment of such as a man thinketh so is he. I know COMPLETELY that God sees me as enough. I will say though from a man’s perspective? We want to feel valued, appreciated, hell we want to feel attractive too.
Too often we get stuck on the minutia of money, fitness, etc. I will say that women DO NOT have exclusivity in the department of the magazines saying they’re not pretty enough or feeling objectified. Most of my adult life I’ve felt not _______ enough for the woman I was interested in. That feeling has continued to be supported based off of friends I care about objectifying men while on the phone with me.
It hurts y’all. When you get so used to hearing what the “ideal/perfect man” should be and as friends or gals tell you what the “perfect” is and you realize you’re not it. Let’s just say that I got very good in my 20’s at walking out of bars and going for some rather inebriated walks. It was that or sit there and listen to friends talking about how they’re going to try hooking up with the bartender because he’s sooooooo hot and probably great in bed.
Look y’all I’m much like Shinedown and Skynrd before them I’m a simple man. Above is a picture of me polishing my Ariat boots; there’s a reason. The day I bought these boots was…….geeze going on least four years now. There was this lil’ old man in a black stetson hat he kinda looked like a cowboy wizard to be honest.
As this old man was trying on boots down the aisle from me I heard him talking to a young woman. He said “Darlin’ you’re young but I’m gonna teach you something about life. Good boots are like your heart and love, see you drop a bunch of money on it. Get the products to maintain the boots whether that’s conditioner or polish. You take care of one solid pair of boots and they’ll last you the rest of your life.”
Like I said a cowboy wizard. The boots I’m polishing in this picture are the pair of boots I bought that day. The old cowboy wizard had tried on the first pair of boots, looked at the gal and said “These’ll do it for me darlin’ sometimes you just know.” Then he pointed to the boots, tapped his chest, tapped her forehead then smiled and headed to the counter where he paid and then left.
I’ve never forgot that, the old cowboy wizard was and remains correct. Love is a choice, like boots. What keeps love and boots alive? Actively maintaining love is a choice. Counseling, prayer, seeking council from friends and so on. There was a study awhile ago that postulated that it takes 10,000 hours to master any given skill. However, I’ll simply say that the best things, the things that make life truly fulfilling?
Those are continual practice, meaning they don’t stop. Love is a continual choice and practice. Deep down I know that’s the way it should be. That shirt I’m wearing? It’s a Harry Potter shirt and yes. Yes it does say she found a keeper. See, over the years I’ve struggled with self-image as well as self-perception. Now? I can safely say that whoever I end up with will indeed have found a keeper. Someone who’ll make the effort to take care of my boots and relationship.
So in closing I’d like to offer the source of that first song. 1 Samuel 16:7 But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
Love and your heart are like boots my friends.
Much Love In Christ; Rapha yada
Richard
Holy Water, Burning Man 