My heart takes these flights of fancy. I’m sure we’ve all experienced that. Y’all know the feeling, where we get our hopes up. Allow ourselves to develop feelings for someone.
Only to find out those feelings are unrequited. It’s human to desire relationships, and inevitably it hurts to be ignored. I’ll be the first to admit sometimes you have to ignore others. To avoid saying something hurtful or something said out of anger and frustration.
Sisko is right a Jedi craves not these things.
I reference super hero shows quite a bit in my writing here. One of my favorites is Arrow, and the protagonist Oliver Queen says guys like us, we don’t get the girl. Later on he’s proven wrong. But I will say….
Being a man of morals and principles? Better that than to simply settle for the easy choice or possibility of a partner. In my mind if it’s easy? It’s probably not right. Better to take time than to rush into things that’ll hurt you in the long run.
For now I sit in my fortress of solitude like Kara Zor-El. Unsure and trying to figure out how to be myself to the best of my ability. I’m getting better about letting people know what actually is going on in my life. Takes time though… I’ve been struggling a lot recently to decide if I want to put out some unedited poems. Typically? When I write poetry, the first draft is the final draft.
My reasoning behind this decision is that when we’re emotionally charged and need to vent? What comes to mind and is written down right off the bat first time around is typically the most real, raw or open writers get. I’ve been putting off uploading poetry recently because of some past history. See there’s this girl from my hometown…
Long story short there’s history between her and my brother. Cliche I know but the whole love triangle thing? Yeah. It actually happens IRL. My brother has the best intentions and typically is fairly accurate with advice. He also has a bit of a problem understanding that just because his advice is sound and solid nobody owes it to him to follow that advice.
It vexes him and understandably so, cause I’m the same way. I just reckon if people are gonna do their own thing? Let them. I was worried about how he’d feel about me feeling attracted to this girl. At the end of the day though? To quote Bon Jovi “It’s my life, it’s now or never and I ain’t gonna live forever.” Personally I’d rather take the risk. I mean come on now y’all it’s my brother offending him is kinda what siblings do.
Plus, it’s my feelings. It’s my life, and I’d rather keep it real than be editing whatever I write because it might offend someone. I referenced the fortress of solitude and honestly? I’d just rather be rocking out wearing tour hoodies, Converse shoes, a pair of comfy jeans and headphones. I just wanna be myself.
Nobody should feel like they have to hide their feelings or honest opinions from family. Keep it real y’all, don’t be trying to hide what you actually feel. Real til the day we die right y’all? In any case look for some hard hitting stuff in the near future. Stuff in life is getting real and I’m breaking down the walls like the Koolaid guy.
Holy Water, Burning Man 