When your logic catches up to your heart

When your logic catches up to your heart? There’s a crystalline moment of clarity that resounds throughout your soul. You understand that emotions have a tendency to mislead. You’ve started evaluating your emotions, coming to terms with them.

Now I sit in an office chair at 10 pm going on morning, learned the lesson to listen to warnings. Red flags, the advice of others, logic catches up to your heart and you understand. Chemistry + honesty = Real attraction.

Diabetic moves across country after high school, find out mom had pancreatic cancer. Dial up God for what feels like a call to make-a-wish. Realizing it’s out of my hands. Faith strengthened over the next few years, now I know who I am. Albeit at the cost of painful experiences…

Bumble to texting on vacation. “Dude you’re being weirdly happy, what’s up?” Meanwhile I kept on smiling. Enjoying a vacation in Canada while waiting to get back to wifi. Text conversations late at night. Honesty, like a cool refreshing shower on a scorching hot day. My logic said be careful, it also searched for anything that should be a warning.

There wasn’t any. So logic and my heart sat down for coffee. Cranking NF beats in my head through Sennheisers on blast. Coming to terms with the pain of my past. Got honesty going, keeping things real. Tearing down walls in my mind time to unseal the boxes. Sick of lying to myself I realize it hasn’t helped me.

It’s time that I stop with the pain. Take more chances to go dance in the rain. True rhyme in my words with slant through the lines. Any craft you produce. It takes time, be real with yourself don’t hide your pain. Whenever you try pain gives way to actions of shame. If you’re like me and you do what I do then you’ve pushed away people. When all they want? To honestly help you.

You’ve been hurt before and you remember the pain, when you trust other people and the result? Tears fall like rain. You want to open your mind to the possibility, let hope flood your heart. But where do you start? Where do you start when you don’t trust your heart? Faith that He’s got you, faith that He cares. Faith that He knows how much you care. Care about others at risk to yourself, He knows you’ve felt used and castoff like a book on a shelf.

When it’s logic that catches up to your heart, take a look around. There’s a thing called healing, and doors open wide. We wait for each other, I reckon it’s time we both venture inside.